The Internet is full of all sorts of articles about happiness, and bettering yourself. “’5 Ways to be Happy Now’ ‘How to Focus on the Positive’ ‘Get Your Mood Up With These Tips.’” I could list a million made up articles that you’ve probably seen while scrolling through your Facebook feed. Well, maybe not a million, but you get the picture.
Anyway, around November of 2015, I was clicking on these articles pretty hardcore. I was on what they call a “journey of self discovery.” Dang straight, gang! I was on my own personal hero’s journey! Just call me Frodo Baggins, or whatever.
I, as many of my fellow Millennial friends, was feeling pretty unsure and insecure about myself and my situation. I wanted to be a confident, bad bitch queen of Earth, but alas. So, what did I do? I started a list, dear reader. Yes, a list. I wrote down a list of things I was scared to do —activities or plans that freaked the bejesus out of me. Why did I do this? Because all those articles and listicles about bettering yourself seemed to have one unifying concept: get the eff out of your comfort zone!
Don’t just get out of it; destroy it. Throw it to the ground and stomp all over it. Blast it with a blaster from like Rick and Morty or something. So I decided it was in my best interest to make this crazy list. I’m not going to tell you everything on that list, but let’s just say I started small. I took a ballet class.
I’d say I have a healthy amount of anxiety so just doing this one thing—taking a stupid beginners ballet class—was a pretty big deal. I ended up signing up and showing up to almost every single class. Ask me to do a pirouette, just ask me!
Once 2016 rolled around, I decided to knock off an even bigger fear of mine: travelling solo. If you’ve read my travel post “Falling for Madrid (Like, Literally)” then you’ll know why I decided to take the leap. The thought of travelling solo was pretty terrifying. When I first heard of the concept, I was like “I could never do that.” But, then again, I’m a loca who made a list of things that scare her, so I did it. I went on a trip for 40 days all by my lonesome self. It wasn’t always perfect and I probably looked like a complete lost puppy throughout the entire thing, but I did it anyway. Then, I went on to Florence, Italy for 6 weeks with complete confidence of this whole Europe thing. How cool is that?
A photo from my Instagram Circa April 2016:
Now here we are! It’s 2017 and over a year after my pirouetting days. I’m feeling more confident and better about myself than ever. It’s crazy what going out of your comfort zone can do. I’m less afraid to do the small stuff. Can you believe I’d never watched a horror movie before this transformation? Now I watch them all the time. Bring on the scary movies, fam! It’s also calmed my social anxiety. I could talk to the guy next to me at Starbucks without an ounce of anxiety (The guy to my right though. The guy to my left keeps talking to himself and it’s weirding me out).
Any who, at the same time, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s some extra room for growth. I get it, I’m pretty great as is, but am I that confident bad bitch queen of Earth that we discussed earlier? I don’t think so…
That why it’s time for me to continue living out of my comfort zone. Don’t think I’m not scared despite all that chatter about scary movies. I’m always scared.
Also, my comfort zone is pretty flipping great right now! I have good friends and a sweet job. It’s the coziest, warmest little comfort zone ever. Why would I want to ruin that?
At the same time, there’s something gnawing at me, tugging at me, whispering in my ear before I go to sleep at night. Wait? Is my house haunted? That could explain the old lady that always hangs out in the living room …
Anyway, I’ve got a feeling; a feeling that it’s time to grow up just a little bit more. So, what’s next on the list of things that scare me? I guess you’ll just have to stick around to find out.
In the meantime, I suggest you make your own list! Bust out that journal that’s been collecting dust next to where the old lady sits in your living room and get cracking.
Do some soul searching, dear reader, and tackle your fears one at a time. I believe in you! I really, really do.
Yup, dear reader, the rumors are true…