This story was originally published on Coral Gables Love.
As a single gal in Miami, I’m always trying to find the equation to meeting the right guy. “How’d you meet your significant other?” is a question that’s always on my lips. “Does he have friends? Is he single? Would my mom like him?” are the next three questions. Some people think Miami is too shallow of a dating pool; some people wretch at the idea of swiping in Miami. “Finding love in Miami is too hard!” us singles chant in unison. But is it, really?
Miami’s The New Tropic spends each month investigating a specific topic and last month’s theme was Modern Love in Miami. They did their job right by talking to dating coaches, sex experts, and doctors. They even delved into the cutthroat world of swiping in Miami!
My perception of dating in Miami? I like dating! It’s fun! I’ve met some lovely dudes around town. Maybe only one horror story—and, honestly, it wasn’t even that bad! Have I met “the one” though? Didn’t I mention I was single in the first line of this piece? Come on, guys! Focus! So, when my friend Emily sent me an event being hosted by The New Tropic called “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” ya girl was already hooked. Three dating and relationship experts giving out free advice to a crowd full of Miami singles— it’s basically a gift to the public!
I gussied up and made my way over to WEAM, or World Erotic Art Museum. Yup, sexy stuff! We were allowed free access to the museum before and after the panel, which I gotta say is an underrated spot (again, this event was basically a gift to the public). The ceramic penis sculpture from A Clockwork Orange? Check. Nudes from Rembrandt? Check. An erotic cultural haven right in our backyard! Who would’ve known?
Anywho, after a peruse around the museum, we made our way to the panel room full of—well, mostly women. Given, there were a few couples and guys but let’s be real, it’s the girls that want the scoop on love in this town! What do single men even do on a Thursday night in Miami? Seriously though! I’m asking for myself.
It was finally time for the panel discussion hosted by the local director of The New Tropic, Natasha Del Toro. Our three dating experts included Virginia Jimenez, a Transformational Love Coach, Dan Silverman, Dating Coach and Matchmaker, and Dani Spikes, a ~Loooove~ Coach.
Each panelist brought their unique perspective on dating in Miami. To them, it’s sometimes less about the town and more about the way we’re dating and going about finding dates. According to Silverman who travels all over the country “everyone complains that their city is the worst.” Maybe there are some differences between cities, but that’s just the culture! Spikes said there’s a major issue with superficiality in Miami. Come on, Miami! Get it together. According to her “we’re not having those deep connections early in the relationship.” Ouch. Jimenez urges us to get past those superficial connections and seek out the right connection. So, less about harping on the negative and focusing on the positive. I can hang with that.
By the end of the event, I learned a lot! Our three panelists put their unique view on each question asked. When it came to finding love, Jimenez told the crowd to focus on what they want in a relationship, Spikes talked about the importance of self-love, and Silverman—I actually don’t remember what Silverman said. I tend to black out when men speak for too long, which could explain why I’m single…JUST KIDDING. Silverman gave us the male perspective on dating and got into technical details to help us when we’re out there in the real world trying to trap a man.
What a great way for a single gal to spend her Thursday night! Seriously, if you’ve got no plans or no friends in Miami, get out of your comfort zone and learn more about the city you live in by attending one of The New Tropic’s events. At the end of the panel, we had a chance to network and meet some of our fellow singles, some of which were honest about being new in town and trying different things around the city. That’s the way you do it! Be sure to stay on top of The New Tropic’s website for more events like this one!
If you’re a book lover who’s all about romance and dreams of having an at-home library the size of the one in The Beauty and the Beast, this post is not for you. If you’re a book lover who’s all about living your damn life the way you want to live it, this IS the post for you.
Dearest reader, I love my e-reader. I have no shame in admitting it. Every time I turn it on and that screen lights up my face, pure joy enters my heart, body—you get it.
Listen, don’t hate. Physical books are cool. They smell good, you can hold them in your hands, they have words in actual INK, you can set it on fire once you’re done with them etc. Books are a novelty… I get it. I really do! It’s just that my e-reader is way cooler! No, no, seriously! And like any good writer, I have some opinion based evidence that’ll prove my point! Read on to learn more!
I Can Read in the Dark- I’m all about things (who needs people or experiences or love when THINGS exist?), but I’m not about extra accouterments for reading a book in the dark. A reading light? Too bulky, too big! Where will I store it? I’d rather destroy my eyes with the backlit LED of my beloved e-reader.
E-Readers are Convenient- I love the library. How can I not? It smells so good, it’s quiet, and full of library crazies who talk themselves when you’re trying to work. There was a time where I used to take books out of the library, and it’d take FOREVER for me to get ahold of said book. There was always a waiting list. I’d have to wait weeks to read the new Rainbow Rowell book. WEEKS.
It’s 2017. Instant gratification is the name of the game. The second I finished The White Princess by Phillipa Gregory on my e-reader, and I mean the second, I went on to read American Gods. You guys! Two books that inspired Starz TV shows all in the same night! Hours of entertainment and so much easier than waiting for the lib! E-reader for the wiiiin!
E-Readers Are Compact- I wasn’t a true convert until I went on my infamous solo trip through Europe. I knew e-books were around, but I was still checking out those pesky library books. Before I left, I knew I was going to be reading a lot with all those long train, plane, and automobile trips I’d be taking. No bulky books for me! I bit the bullet and got my e-reader. It was so compact; it fit in my super tight 30Liter Osprey travelers bag without a problem. It went with me from Sevilla to Lyon and then later to Italy and Greece. Amazing!
That's me above Santorini's famous bookstore, Atlantis Books, reading from my e-reader. No books for me! I'm a rebel, my people!
E-Readers Can Work As Weapons- I like to read in the dead of night when the entire house is asleep. Everything’s all creaky and dark. The light of my e-book gives my room some illumination and comforts me. At the same time, I can read soundly knowing that if there ever was an intruder in my home, I could always use my e-reader for protection. I’ve been working on my hurlin’ arm, people!
Thet's it for me! What do you prefer to read on? Books? E-readers? Let me know in the comments section! Til next time!
The Internet is full of all sorts of articles about happiness, and bettering yourself. “’5 Ways to be Happy Now’ ‘How to Focus on the Positive’ ‘Get Your Mood Up With These Tips.’” I could list a million made up articles that you’ve probably seen while scrolling through your Facebook feed. Well, maybe not a million, but you get the picture.
Anyway, around November of 2015, I was clicking on these articles pretty hardcore. I was on what they call a “journey of self discovery.” Dang straight, gang! I was on my own personal hero’s journey! Just call me Frodo Baggins, or whatever.
I, as many of my fellow Millennial friends, was feeling pretty unsure and insecure about myself and my situation. I wanted to be a confident, bad bitch queen of Earth, but alas. So, what did I do? I started a list, dear reader. Yes, a list. I wrote down a list of things I was scared to do —activities or plans that freaked the bejesus out of me. Why did I do this? Because all those articles and listicles about bettering yourself seemed to have one unifying concept: get the eff out of your comfort zone!
Don’t just get out of it; destroy it. Throw it to the ground and stomp all over it. Blast it with a blaster from like Rick and Morty or something. So I decided it was in my best interest to make this crazy list. I’m not going to tell you everything on that list, but let’s just say I started small. I took a ballet class.
I’d say I have a healthy amount of anxiety so just doing this one thing—taking a stupid beginners ballet class—was a pretty big deal. I ended up signing up and showing up to almost every single class. Ask me to do a pirouette, just ask me!
Once 2016 rolled around, I decided to knock off an even bigger fear of mine: travelling solo. If you’ve read my travel post “Falling for Madrid (Like, Literally)” then you’ll know why I decided to take the leap. The thought of travelling solo was pretty terrifying. When I first heard of the concept, I was like “I could never do that.” But, then again, I’m a loca who made a list of things that scare her, so I did it. I went on a trip for 40 days all by my lonesome self. It wasn’t always perfect and I probably looked like a complete lost puppy throughout the entire thing, but I did it anyway. Then, I went on to Florence, Italy for 6 weeks with complete confidence of this whole Europe thing. How cool is that?
A photo from my Instagram Circa April 2016:
Now here we are! It’s 2017 and over a year after my pirouetting days. I’m feeling more confident and better about myself than ever. It’s crazy what going out of your comfort zone can do. I’m less afraid to do the small stuff. Can you believe I’d never watched a horror movie before this transformation? Now I watch them all the time. Bring on the scary movies, fam! It’s also calmed my social anxiety. I could talk to the guy next to me at Starbucks without an ounce of anxiety (The guy to my right though. The guy to my left keeps talking to himself and it’s weirding me out).
Any who, at the same time, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s some extra room for growth. I get it, I’m pretty great as is, but am I that confident bad bitch queen of Earth that we discussed earlier? I don’t think so…
That why it’s time for me to continue living out of my comfort zone. Don’t think I’m not scared despite all that chatter about scary movies. I’m always scared.
Also, my comfort zone is pretty flipping great right now! I have good friends and a sweet job. It’s the coziest, warmest little comfort zone ever. Why would I want to ruin that?
At the same time, there’s something gnawing at me, tugging at me, whispering in my ear before I go to sleep at night. Wait? Is my house haunted? That could explain the old lady that always hangs out in the living room …
Anyway, I’ve got a feeling; a feeling that it’s time to grow up just a little bit more. So, what’s next on the list of things that scare me? I guess you’ll just have to stick around to find out.
In the meantime, I suggest you make your own list! Bust out that journal that’s been collecting dust next to where the old lady sits in your living room and get cracking.
Do some soul searching, dear reader, and tackle your fears one at a time. I believe in you! I really, really do.
Yup, dear reader, the rumors are true…